18 x 18 Acrylic on canvas http://www.ginakropf.com

6,205 days I have spent with you. 1,095 days in quarantine, or what’s left of it.

I peered outside the door today to see if anything had changed. Realizing its mostly in my mind, I closed the door and returned to my chair.

With still no desire to put on anything other than elastic-waisted pants, I gave in to the day.

Solitude has turned to isolation

Quiet time has turned to loneliness

Motivation to despair

Masks are optional, they say, but I am afraid

My body has betrayed my expectations enough already

I am learning to adjust.

Life “out there” is optional. The longer I wait, the harder it gets.

6,205 days with you. In 365 more, your time as a child will be complete.

Can I sit and enjoy the gift of you for a while longer?

I’ll hold on to the days.



Gina Lumsden-Kropf

Stolen diaries of an recovered alcoholic. Story teller through paint, camera, and pen. New Yorker. East Village Dweller. Insta @ginakropfnyc